Good Secrets And Bad Secrets

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Topic

Good Secrets and Bad Secrets

Overview

In this lesson students will learn the difference between a Good Secret and a Bad Secret. Students will understand that Bad Secrets should be shared with a trusted adult.

Learning Objectives

  • Students will learn the difference between Good Secrets and Bad Secrets.
  • Students will label the feelings associated with Good Secrets and Bad Secrets.
  • Students will apply the skill of Think, Feel, Do decision making in regard to a Bad Secret.
  • Students will practice reporting to a trusted adult if they have a Bad Secret.

Essential Question(S)

  • How do Good Secrets and Bad Secrets make you feel?
  • What should you do if you have a Bad Secret?

Content Standards/Benchmarks

National Health Ed. Benchmarks

4.2.4 Demonstrate ways to tell a trusted adult if threatened or harmed.

 

Florida Health Ed. Benchmarks

HE.2.B.4.1 Demonstrate healthy ways to express needs, wants, feelings, and listening skills to enhance health.

HE.2.B.4.3 Demonstrate ways to respond to unwanted threatening or dangerous situations.

Friends are playing on the playground

Vocabulary

  • Good Secret
  • Bad Secret
  • Circle of Safe Adults
  • Safe and Smart Choices
  • Telling/Reporting
  • Trust

Material List

  • Good Secrets and Bad Secrets Lesson Guide
  • Good Secrets Poster and Bad Secrets Poster
  • Circle of Safe Adults Poster
  • Cut & Glue Activity

 

Estimated Time Frame

30 minutes

Technology Tools

Printer

Projector/Smart Board (optional)

Student Scissors

Glue

Lesson Description

  1. Introduce: Good Secrets and Bad Secrets (See Lesson Guide)
  2. Teach: Difference Between Good Secrets and Bad Secrets  (See Lesson Guide )
  3. Discuss: Circle of Safe Adults (See Lesson Guide )
  4. Activity: Cut and Glue (See Lesson Guide and Printable Activity sheet)
  5. Closing Statements (See Lesson Guide)

Teacher Notes:

Sexual abuse thrives in secrecy. We often say that a predator’s perfect victim is a child who will keep secrets. To break that cycle, we need to teach children that it is important to tell a Bad Secret. Children will not get into trouble for reporting a Bad Secret. Bad Secrets come in many forms. A Bad Secret can be obvious, “Now, don’t you tell,” or a subtle implication in which the child is afraid to tell. Children are also made to feel that the abuse is their fault; telling/reporting may get them in trouble, harm their family, or cause someone to be angry at them for telling. This lesson supports empowering children to use their Safety Voice to report Bad Secrets.

Bad Secrets can be about an unsafe or confusing touch; being bullied; domestic violence; food shortages; caregiver drug abuse; and the list goes on.

We are encouraging children to not carry these burdens and to access help from a trusted adult. Let the students know that if anyone threatens to hurt them (or hurt anyone else) that is exactly the type of secret they have to tell a trusted adult. Empowered children become powerful adults.

Preschool class in South African township, close-up

Lesson Guide

1. Introduce Good Secrets and Bad Secrets

Let your students discuss their answers to the following questions:

What is a secret?

Has anyone ever told you a secret?

How do we know if a secret is good or bad?

2. Teach the Difference Between Good Secrets and Bad Secrets

You can use the Good Secrets and Bad Secrets posters to help explain these concepts.

Good Secrets are temporary, they don’t last forever. They have an ending because you can tell someone your secret when the time is right. It is like having a secret about a surprise party, you can tell someone when it’s the right time.

Let students share and discuss their answers:

How does a good secret make you feel?

(Possible answers: happy, excited, special, loved)

Good secrets give you and the other person a happy feeling. With good secrets, both people are happy and comfortable.

Examples of good secrets are surprise parties, special events, surprises for a loved one, or something that makes both you and others happy. Good secrets make everyone involved feel happy and special.

The Good Secret checklist includes:

  • You get to tell it
  • Gives you happy, positive feelings.
  • Everyone is happy about a good secret.

Bad secrets have no ending. When someone gives you a bad secret, they don’t want you to ever tell anyone.

Let students share and discuss their answers:

How does a bad secret make you feel?

(Possible answers: uncomfortable, confused, frustrated, sad, weird, worried, afraid, or scared to tell)

If the secret makes you feel uncomfortable or confused, it’s a bad secret.

The Bad Secret Checklist includes:

  • You feel like you are never supposed to tell.
  • Gives you confusing or negative thoughts.
  • If even one person is not happy, then it is a bad secret.

Examples of bad secrets are things you  are told to not tell anyone, unsafe touches, things that make you uncomfortable or events that give you negative feelings.

With bad secrets, someone is feeling uncomfortable, upset, scared, worried, or confused. If even one person is unhappy, it’s a bad secret.

Ask students the following questions:

What if the other person is really happy about the secret, and you feel unhappy about it? Would it be a Good Secret or a Bad Secret? (Bad)

Would you need to tell your grown-up? (Yes)

What if you really, really love the other person and you want them to be happy even though it makes you feel scared? Would it be a Good Secret or a Bad Secret? (Bad)

Should you tell another trusted adult? (Yes)

If you have a bad secret or are unsure if the secret is good or bad, talk with a trusted grown-up from your Circle of Safe Adults.

3. Circle of Safe Adults Activity

If you have a bad secret or are unsure if the secret is good or bad, talk with a trusted grown-up from your Circle of Safe Adults.

Safe adults are the trusted grown-ups in our lives. Safe adults are who we can go to when we need to use our Safety Voice and ask for help. Using our Safety Voice helps to keep us safe and out of trouble.

Use the Circle of Safe Adults poster to help students identify safe adults in their lives.

Ask students:

Who is in your Circle of Safe Adults?

4. Cut and Glue Activity

Each student should have their own cut & glue activity sheet. Students can work in small groups or as a whole group. Students work together to discuss and decide if each situation on the cut & glue activity sheet describes a good secret or a bad secret.

Have students cut out the situations at the bottom of the page one-by-one. For each situation, have students discuss their answers to the following questions:

Is this a good secret or a bad secret? How do we know?

How would this make you feel?

What would you do?

After they have discussed their answers, have students glue the situation into the correct column. Repeat for all situations.

5. Closing Statement

Good Secrets are temporary, make everyone happy and you get to share them when the time is right. Bad Secrets make you feel unhappy, worried, scared or confused and they have no ending. These are the secrets that you need to tell a trusted grown-up, someone in your Circle of Safe Adults.

GOOD SECRETS

Good secrets make you and others happy. Good secrets are temporary, meaning you eventually get to tell someone about it. Like a surprise party for example, you can tell the secret when the timing is right. Good secrets make us feel happy, excited, special, and loved.

Good Secret Checklist:

  • You eventually get to tell it.
  • Gives you happy, positive feelings.
  • Everyone is happy about a good secret.
Group 235

BAD SECRETS

Bad secrets have no ending. When someone gives you a bad secret, they do not want you to ever tell anyone else. Bad secrets make us feel uncomfortable, confused, sad, weird, worried or afraid to tell.

Bad Secret Checklist:

  • You feel like you are never supposed to tell.
  • Gives you confusing or negative feelings.
  • Even if one person is not happy, then it is a bad secret.
Group 237

SAFE ADULTS

Safe adults are the grown-ups in our lives we can turn to when we need help. If you have a secret that makes you feel unhappy, worried, scared, confused, or afraid to tell others, you can go to a trusted grown-up in your Circle of Safe Adults for help. Who are the trusted grown-ups in your life? Who is in your Circle of Safe Adults?

Circle of Safe Adults

Activity

Good Secrets Bad Secrets Activity

The class is planning a special surprise for the teacher’s birthday.

A friend in the class doesn’t have any food at home.

Two friends made up a secret handshake together.

She got a present but isn’t allowed to tell anyone where it came from.

An older student showed them something online. They say to keep what they saw  a secret.

His dad asks him not to tell his mom where they are going for dinner. Dad wants it to be a surprise.

She was told not to tell anyone what happened on the bus. She’s uncomfortable.

They are asked to pose for pictures. The aren’t allowed to tell their parents about the pictures.

No one is supposed to come over when their parents are gone. Her sister broke that rule.

Their uncle asks them to go on a special drive. The uncle says no one needs to know about it.

Someone is being mean to her at school. They are making it hard for her to feel safe.

Someone asks her to keep their special tickling game a secret.