Are you embarrassed to ask safety questions? Not asking could put your child in harms way!

This is what many parents tell us when we discuss the importance of asking “safety questions” to another parent/friend /adult before sending their kids to a play date, sleep over, or off to sports practice.  With all of the stories in the media lately about seemingly “trusted adults” in children’s lives who have broken that trust and abused children, it is important to ask yourself as a parent, “Is my discomfort with asking safety questions more important than my child’s safety?”  “Is the chance of “offending” someone by asking these questions more important than my child’s safety?”


Perhaps a year ago you might not have even thought to ask – but now that you have woken up to the epidemic of child abuse happening everyday across the nation, now that you know that 90% of the time a child is harmed by someone they know, you can’t just bury your head in the sand or say that would never happen to my child…because it can and it does.


We want your children to be safe. We want you as parents to feel that you have done all in your power to keep your child safe. We want you to feel confident that you have taught your child what they need to know, so when they are not with you they will make the safest and smartest choices…and if anything “unsafe” does happen, that they would report it to you immediately.

With that said, below are some questions/discussions that are important to ask the many other people you entrust with your child.


Play date/Sleep over:

  • Who will be watching the children?

  • Do you have older children and will they or their friends be present?

  • Do you have a gun in your house?

  • What safety rules do you have in your house?

  • Will you be staying at your house? What is the plan?

  • Is the TV and internet use monitored?

  • What are the sleeping arrangements?

At the end of the day we hope that your child will be having a play date or sleep over with a family you know well and is like minded when it comes to safety. Asking these questions does not ensure your child will be safe, but how the adult answers the questions is important to your child’s safety.

Are they offended?  Do they tell you that you are too overprotective?  Are they giving you the answers that make you feel your child will be in a safe environment? One of the most important ways to keep your child safe is to trust your own instincts. If you are not comfortable with the answers the adult is giving you, it is your right to decline the invitation for your child. You are the first line of defense in your child’s safety.


Conversations with your child:

  • Your body is special and belongs to you

  • You are in charge of your body and nobody should touch you in any way that makes you feel confused, weird, uncomfortable or on your private parts

  • You should not touch or look at anyone’s privates

  • When over a friend’s house clothes must always stay on

  • No one should take pictures of your privates or show you pictures of naked people

  • No playing in the master bedroom

  • No one should ever ask you to keep a secret from us – or keep a secret that makes you uncomfortable and you are NEVER allowed to tell

  • Let your child know that you will always believe them and praise them when they report unsafe situations to you

  • Model and role play situations so your child will know what to do and how to respond

  • Ask “what if” questions to see if your child will make the safest and smartest choices

  • Discuss your safety rules and they should be followed when you are at another’s house

  • Have a code word your child can say to you over the phone so if your child wants to leave they don’t have to be embarrassed.

After reading that lengthy list and having these conversations it does not mean your child will be safe, or that your child will follow your directions, but you open the door to conversations that should be had on a regular basis as a natural part of your parenting. If you, your friends, and your children’s friend’s parents all start speaking the same language of safety and are excepting to openly discuss these questions your children will be safer. So are you still embarrassed to ask these questions? If you answered yes…get over it! Nothing is more important than your child’s safety!


"Thank you for giving us the opportunity to be included in the KidSafe program. I highly recommend this program to other schools. We hope that we will be given the same opportunity for our Kindergarten and 2nd grade students to be a part of this wonderful program during the 2016-2017 school year."

Mrs. Keelyn Meselsohn 2nd Grade Teacher/Team Leader Tradewinds Elementary School

"The Safe and Smart Series Book My Body Is Special and Belongs To Me is kept in my middle school clinic and has been a tool that has opened many conversations for me between students that have experienced a difficult situation and were unable to talk about it. Through the illustrations and nonjudgmental verbiage the author has allowed kids permission to share their feelings about invasion of their personal space. Thank you so much."

Nurse Connie, PBC School Nurse 6.8.2016

"I'm so grateful that KidSafe has partnered with my daughter's school.  I learned so much in the parent training--how to recognize potential sexual predator behavior; how to quiz my child about what they would do in different scenarios; and how to explain safe and unsafe touch.  In addition, knowing that my daughter is receiving weekly trainings on these topics gives me great peace of mind.  I have confidence that I can reinforce what she is learning in school in order to prevent her from ever being a victim of such a heinous crime.  Thank you KidSafe for your dedication to protecting our communities' most vulnerable citizens."

Christina Kranick

“It was a normal Saturday and I was at the rink with my 7 and 8 year old. My son asked me if he could use the Men’s Restroom by himself.  Without hesitation, my daughter said,  Absolutely not! I was in KidSafe today and you cannot go to the restroom alone.  It is very important that Mommy is with you.. with us.   I was so proud of my little girl!  We are so blessed to have Debbie Miller at our school teaching our children the importance of safety. Many thanks to you all!  Your program and instruction is absolutely amazing.  Keep up the great work!"  

Tara Henley Admissions Assistant, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church and School, Ft. Lauderdale

I am a parent of two Pine Crest children and I attended your program on Monday night. I just wanted to thank you so very much for the very informative seminar. As hard as it was to hear all of those things, it was very needed. We were thrilled that you were able to come and share that very important information with us and our children. So again...thank you.

Elisa Aronberg

Today’s training was awesome! It was very informative. Sally was a very good resource, she motivated us a lot! We want to pass on this information to parents, teachers and students! Thank you for offering workshops like this. These are tools we use to continue serving our children and families.

Participant from Children’s Services Council of Broward Seminar

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